To The Lion's Den And Back

I saw them standing...twenty or more of them talking loudly and smoking weed. It wasn't my first time of walking through this kinda setting, so I threaded on.

My only fear was my exposed cleavage...what if they leered at me? what if they laughed at me? what if they circled me? My only fear...What If?

luckily, their situation at that moment wasn't open cleavage which I was yet to find out.

I met the man I went to meet, he was an elder and he has a church in the community. I actually went there to interview him on the current situation in the community because the death report this days is moving towards the high side. He explained that they have no peace in the community for some months...guys are ganging up, youths are dying, ladies are being raped *my heart tumbled in quick procession* houses are being burnt. *Oh my!*

I quickly rounded up the interview with the Baba and bid farewell. I met another man I was supposed to interview. He urged me on to take my leave immediately.

So I moved, my long and quick stride was working perfectly for me. *I fear no evil.*

Just then, Just when I got to the exit gate of the community, just when I thought I've survived it all...the thundering sound stroke. legs flying at the back of their owners, names calling/shouting, vehicles blaring and maneuvering madly... Within a minute, the community calmness changed to a raging storm and survivor was the fittest.

I wanted to run *God knows* I wanted to hide, I wanted to scream...so many things I wanted to do but my long and quick stride calmed me...'babe, you have me'. And I wondered if anybody from the clinic knew I would be there...in the lion's den. I remembered that I told Ope over the phone

Stray bullet; I remembered that too. It just killed recently...the fish seller girl at Lekki.

My devious mind and my long and quick stride ganged up against me...we threaded on calmly and we survived.

I will be there again...infact throughout this week. I have a mission and I must accomplish...fight or no fight.  I'm a trained journalist, forget I'm in the advertising world.

Pretenders...we all

He wanted it...He wanted me to laugh. So I laughed.

She wanted it, so I cracked my ribs

I smile at everybody and everything just to cover up my sorrow. I hang around people, make silly jokes and make them envy me.... I remember when my ex bf broke up with me over a phone call in the middle of the night. I got to work laughing like crazy over funny and not-funny things cos I didn't want to cry.

I pretend to be happy single. No need being sad, right?

But every now and then, I ask myself...Dola, how happy are you?

I remember this poem I wrote...THE PRETENDER...

They watched the outrageous drama

Staged by me and their impressions

With me clamouring on their rising ovation

They thought I had it all

One beautiful actress I must have been

Staging the play with other actors

Consciously and merely conscious

Gifted and not gifted

I drove them to 'locations'

My back must be covered

The smile smeared my cheeks

Ignored my eyes and emboldened the stars

I was gay and playful

I featured the roles in their staged minds

I belched the words their ears itched for

My talent, purely overrated 

Inside me, my heart ached for satisfaction not derived 

A natural actress I would have been

A natural role I should have played 

But my costume was embroidery of chameleon's garment

I craved for the troupe at the theatre

For their satisfactory smiles

Tho' they watched without penny

Their hearts beckoned my pretense 

Just one role I had to act...A Pretender

   

Such Audacity

My legs suddenly trembled beneath, the catwalk I managed to utilise for the first time got wrong cos I almost slipped. My hair was standing up on the back of my neck as I looked, as I looked hard at the object of my confusion.

I saw his eyes first...you know this kinda eyes that look like Takwa Bay beckoning you to come and swim cos the tide is light and cool...they are simply amazing!

And the owner? He kept staring at me with those Takwa Bay eyes. 

I managed, as in struggled to walk to meet him. I was going to ask..."have we met before?" but changed my mind.

The bus-stop was rowdy, it was closing hour after all and people were struggling to enter buses. 

I made several mental DO NOTs 

1. Don't struggle for bus in front of this guy

2. Don't walk away...it shows that you are weak

3. Don't get carried away...he might be one chance

4. Don't lose the opportunity of knowing him

He was still staring with his beautiful innocent face as I walked up to him.

"There is another bus stop down the road" I said and paused to see his expression. A smile crept up his lips, cheeks and eyes...Oh My! "Let's walk." I continued.

And we walked.....

He is getting married

So we chatted today...he is getting married

I saw it coming, he had asked me several times..."Will you marry me?"

"You know" I would always reply.

So, he has always been there, asking "who are you dating now?"
He keeps tab...he knows their names and why they didn't work out.
After a break-up, he would ask again...

When I told him my recent boyfriend is from Akwa-Ibom, he flared up..."You refused Urhobo boy to date Akwa-Ibom boy?"

I thought he had gone....

He is that kind of friend you can do naughty things with yet don't want to marry and when he finally finds love...you feel so bad or is it because I'm 'boyfriendless' now?

Remember that 'Midnight Dance' poem? I wrote it for him...he is a salsa dancer/engineer

I call him artistic Engr

*Sighs*

Sighs? that's some kinda heading?...hmmm

I guess I'm about to rattle again...it's becoming a hobby *sighs*

Yes, I'm still going through heartbreak, the heartbreak no one knows of except...
He still hasn't called! Wait, was I expecting too much? wanting too much?

I JUST WANT SPARKS...between lovers

That's not too much, right?

*sighs* Peace out!

Oh! another thing...

Should I move traffic down to this blog? Yes? No?
I don't know sef...This looks like MY diary....

*sighs*

Purloined

Flicking lights winked from miles away

Loud Music murmured all around us

Gross silhouettes moved in and out of the lights

But, We only heard whispers from the loud voices

Drunk in our large world of  little space

His hands slipped in and out through the bulky parts

Through my veins ran shuddering spasms of pleasure

As  my feet dug deeper beneath the withering weeds

Suspicion of a third party heaved me

My partner was clouded with anticipating excitement

I saw its eyes glowing as it beaked the grasses around us

"A Robin" he whispered.

"What have you seen, Robin?"

Though a cinema but not our movie

This place has long gone past its vaunted glory

The edifice is nothing now but a murk and shadow of its golden history

I remembered the bird's proverb - it listens

If I had my way and one wish from the little invasive Robin

I would whisper in its ear

"Please, tell no one."

So finally, I found a place to rattle... Infidelity

He said "I love you" 

I paused and avoided my baby’s eyes. I knew he was looking at me and…listening.

My heart heaved ‘how did I let this happen?’

He said again “I love you”

I quickly pressed the red button on my phone…it was late!

My baby had heard it and he was waiting for me with this ‘oh’ shaped lips.

Damn! Damn!!