Pretenders...we all

He wanted it...He wanted me to laugh. So I laughed.

She wanted it, so I cracked my ribs

I smile at everybody and everything just to cover up my sorrow. I hang around people, make silly jokes and make them envy me.... I remember when my ex bf broke up with me over a phone call in the middle of the night. I got to work laughing like crazy over funny and not-funny things cos I didn't want to cry.

I pretend to be happy single. No need being sad, right?

But every now and then, I ask myself...Dola, how happy are you?

I remember this poem I wrote...THE PRETENDER...

They watched the outrageous drama

Staged by me and their impressions

With me clamouring on their rising ovation

They thought I had it all

One beautiful actress I must have been

Staging the play with other actors

Consciously and merely conscious

Gifted and not gifted

I drove them to 'locations'

My back must be covered

The smile smeared my cheeks

Ignored my eyes and emboldened the stars

I was gay and playful

I featured the roles in their staged minds

I belched the words their ears itched for

My talent, purely overrated 

Inside me, my heart ached for satisfaction not derived 

A natural actress I would have been

A natural role I should have played 

But my costume was embroidery of chameleon's garment

I craved for the troupe at the theatre

For their satisfactory smiles

Tho' they watched without penny

Their hearts beckoned my pretense 

Just one role I had to act...A Pretender