Wednesday 21 October 2015

ACTING LIKE A LADY II

Dear blog diary,

It's been a while and that's because work has been killing!

Yes, it has! well...that's for another day. Let's talk about my transition to ladyhood.

I promised myself a birthday gift (yes, birthday has come and gone)... a dress.

I used to have one which I converted to nightgown just because I'm not brave enough to wear it in the daytime when everybody would see it on me. *covers face* You just can't blame me!

While growing up, I mingled with a lot of guys and there was no activity I didn't participate in. So, you should understand when I say I have different scars on my legs...big, small and medium. Now, tell me how do you expect a lady to wear dresses when her legs are not exactly ladylike?

Now, don't ask me why I promised myself a dress for my birthday... I had a plan! A wonderful plan!
...see a dermatologist and clean the legs before birthday *grins* It was a sweet plan, so I searched the net and got an email. Oh, I sent a mail ofcourse and got a reply to book an appointment....

I was going to do just that when Ope asked...How much do you have in your account?
So, I paused. I was about to a book an appointment with this big looking clinic, to see a specialist and I didn't have more than N10,000.45 in my account. What was I thinking?

Well...I dropped by at Yaba on my way home and bought myself a nice jean trouser, t.shirt and sneakers. Guess the transition won't work this year...Next year In Sha Allah.


Thursday 11 June 2015

BLANK...

It's 4:52 pm on Thursday, 11th June 2015.

I'm here trying my best to focus on things around me, work especially because I'm still at work. I have few minutes before closing hour.

Should I say I don't like today? I'm just wondering...you see, my trouser got torn. I don't know how but I believe it happened in the commercial bus I boarded this morning. It was really bad...as in a wide opening. I got a local tailor (ejikanishop) to fix but still, it's looking so ugly! Many people (guys) would look at me and wonder where I hail from.

I hate this feeling!

coupled with my local hair...I fixed it on Sunday. The hair stylist said I was looking so cool. Oh! I check my mirror every day and I hate who I see. I'm removing it tonight!

I have my story pending...two weeks have gone without me posting the story. My readers will get tired soon as I'm tired of my love and financial life right now.

Tomorrow is Friday and I still haven't started typing...I'm fucking blank!

It's after 5 already...I'm gonna pack up, drop at Yaba and get another trouser. I can achieve that at least.

And maybe get solace from the one my heart pounds 1billion times in a second for...just maybe because he doesn't feel that way.

Let me tell you a lie...I'm fine.

Thursday 19 March 2015

To The Lion's Den And Back

I saw them standing...twenty or more of them talking loudly and smoking weed. It wasn't my first time of walking through this kinda setting, so I threaded on.

My only fear was my exposed cleavage...what if they leered at me? what if they laughed at me? what if they circled me? My only fear...What If?

luckily, their situation at that moment wasn't open cleavage which I was yet to find out.

I met the man I went to meet, he was an elder and he has a church in the community. I actually went there to interview him on the current situation in the community because the death report this days is moving towards the high side. He explained that they have no peace in the community for some months...guys are ganging up, youths are dying, ladies are being raped *my heart tumbled in quick procession* houses are being burnt. *Oh my!*

I quickly rounded up the interview with the Baba and bid farewell. I met another man I was supposed to interview. He urged me on to take my leave immediately.

So I moved, my long and quick stride was working perfectly for me. *I fear no evil.*

Just then, Just when I got to the exit gate of the community, just when I thought I've survived it all...the thundering sound stroke. legs flying at the back of their owners, names calling/shouting, vehicles blaring and maneuvering madly... Within a minute, the community calmness changed to a raging storm and survivor was the fittest.

I wanted to run *God knows* I wanted to hide, I wanted to scream...so many things I wanted to do but my long and quick stride calmed me...'babe, you have me'. And I wondered if anybody from the clinic knew I would be there...in the lion's den. I remembered that I told Ope over the phone

Stray bullet; I remembered that too. It just killed recently...the fish seller girl at Lekki.

My devious mind and my long and quick stride ganged up against me...we threaded on calmly and we survived.

I will be there again...infact throughout this week. I have a mission and I must accomplish...fight or no fight.  I'm a trained journalist, forget I'm in the advertising world.

Thursday 12 March 2015

Pretenders...we all

He wanted it...He wanted me to laugh. So I laughed.

She wanted it, so I cracked my ribs

I smile at everybody and everything just to cover up my sorrow. I hang around people, make silly jokes and make them envy me.... I remember when my ex bf broke up with me over a phone call in the middle of the night. I got to work laughing like crazy over funny and not-funny things cos I didn't want to cry.

I pretend to be happy single. No need being sad, right?

But every now and then, I ask myself...Dola, how happy are you?

I remember this poem I wrote...THE PRETENDER...

They watched the outrageous drama
Staged by me and their impressions
With me clamouring on their rising ovation
They thought I had it all
One beautiful actress I must have been

Staging the play with other actors
Consciously and merely conscious
Gifted and not gifted
I drove them to 'locations'
My back must be covered

The smile smeared my cheeks
Ignored my eyes and emboldened the stars
I was gay and playful
I featured the roles in their staged minds
I belched the words their ears itched for

My talent, purely overrated 
Inside me, my heart ached for satisfaction not derived 
A natural actress I would have been
A natural role I should have played 
But my costume was embroidery of chameleon's garment

I craved for the troupe at the theatre
For their satisfactory smiles
Tho' they watched without penny
Their hearts beckoned my pretense 
Just one role I had to act...A Pretender
   

Tuesday 10 March 2015

Such Audacity

My legs suddenly trembled beneath, the catwalk I managed to utilise for the first time got wrong cos I almost slipped. My hair was standing up on the back of my neck as I looked, as I looked hard at the object of my confusion.

I saw his eyes first...you know this kinda eyes that look like Takwa Bay beckoning you to come and swim cos the tide is light and cool...they are simply amazing!

And the owner? He kept staring at me with those Takwa Bay eyes. 

I managed, as in struggled to walk to meet him. I was going to ask..."have we met before?" but changed my mind.

The bus-stop was rowdy, it was closing hour after all and people were struggling to enter buses. 

I made several mental DO NOTs 

1. Don't struggle for bus in front of this guy
2. Don't walk away...it shows that you are weak
3. Don't get carried away...he might be one chance
4. Don't lose the opportunity of knowing him

He was still staring with his beautiful innocent face as I walked up to him.

"There is another bus stop down the road" I said and paused to see his expression. A smile crept up his lips, cheeks and eyes...Oh My! "Let's walk." I continued.

And we walked.....

Thursday 5 March 2015

He is getting married

So we chatted today...he is getting married

I saw it coming, he had asked me several times..."Will you marry me?"

"You know" I would always reply.

So, he has always been there, asking "who are you dating now?"
He keeps tab...he knows their names and why they didn't work out.
After a break-up, he would ask again...

When I told him my recent boyfriend is from Akwa-Ibom, he flared up..."You refused Urhobo boy to date Akwa-Ibom boy?"

I thought he had gone....

He is that kind of friend you can do naughty things with yet don't want to marry and when he finally finds love...you feel so bad or is it because I'm 'boyfriendless' now?

Remember that 'Midnight Dance' poem? I wrote it for him...he is a salsa dancer/engineer

I call him artistic Engr

Wednesday 4 March 2015

*Sighs*

Sighs? that's some kinda heading?...hmmm

I guess I'm about to rattle again...it's becoming a hobby *sighs*

Yes, I'm still going through heartbreak, the heartbreak no one knows of except...
He still hasn't called! Wait, was I expecting too much? wanting too much?

I JUST WANT SPARKS...between lovers

That's not too much, right?

*sighs* Peace out!

Oh! another thing...

Should I move traffic down to this blog? Yes? No?
I don't know sef...This looks like MY diary....

*sighs*

Purloined

Flicking lights winked from miles away
Loud Music murmured all around us
Gross silhouettes moved in and out of the lights
But, We only heard whispers from the loud voices

Drunk in our large world of  little space
His hands slipped in and out through the bulky parts
Through my veins ran shuddering spasms of pleasure
As  my feet dug deeper beneath the withering weeds

Suspicion of a third party heaved me
My partner was clouded with anticipating excitement
I saw its eyes glowing as it beaked the grasses around us
"A Robin" he whispered.

"What have you seen, Robin?"
Though a cinema but not our movie
This place has long gone past its vaunted glory
The edifice is nothing now but a murk and shadow of its golden history

I remembered the bird's proverb - it listens
If I had my way and one wish from the little invasive Robin
I would whisper in its ear

"Please, tell no one."

Tuesday 3 March 2015

So finally, I found a place to rattle... Infidelity



He said "I love you" 

I paused and avoided my baby’s eyes. I knew he was looking at me and…listening.

My heart heaved ‘how did I let this happen?’

He said again “I love you”

I quickly pressed the red button on my phone…it was late!

My baby had heard it and he was waiting for me with this ‘oh’ shaped lips.


Damn! Damn!!

Think twice

“Don't think I can't feel there's something wrong
You've been the sweetest part of my life so long
I look in your eyes, there's a distant light
And you and I know there'll be a storm tonight

This is getting serious

Are you thinking 'bout you or us….

This I sing again and again….


Baby, think twice

Thursday 26 February 2015

Payback

Another lil-bit....




“Stop dragging me, please?” Tomi pleaded.
As she was being dragged to the other end of the party.
“I want you to meet somebody and stop behaving like you are the only married woman here” Nancy retorted.
Tomi halted and looked straight into her best friend eyes.
“Its not about being married, idiot!”
“Its all about what then?” A man’s voice interrupted.
The two friends turned around to face the man, seeing who it was, Nancy jumped and hugged him cheerfully.
“Woow this is you!”
The man laughed melodically “no one but me”
‘The voice!’ Tomi thought. She stretched her neck to see his face properly and recoiled back when she heard,
“and this is your friend?”
She faced the man and there lay the shock of her life.
She wasn’t the only one transfixed, the man too.
“You guys knew each other?” Nancy broke the silence.
————————————————-
Moving rhythmically, reminiscing the old time. He stared down at her in a very loving way like a little girl who found her doll after a thorough search…wanted to punish the doll and at the same very happy for possessing the doll again. His hand was holding her back protectively, clinching her to his body. She smiled at him, getting lost in his eyes while her heart beat faster.
“Do you remember how we met? At my High School graduation party” he asked.
lifting her face to his with the finger tip of his right hand while the left hand was still holding her back.
“Funny how things change but still remain the same”
“How?” She asked meekly
“Don’t know why the DJ is playing this old music…but here we are dancing to it just like we did that very day we met at the graduation party.”
Tomi’s legs weaken, her eyes widen to the realization of the past, she could hear the sound of her heartbeat, it was fast and loud. She moved back from him slowing without turning her back to him. ‘I shouldn’t be doing this…that was in the past…I am married now…married!’
He tried to secure his position again but it was late, she had moved further away. He watched her as she walked away like smoke into the air just like she did before.
————————————————–
As usual, her husband was waiting at the gate…he couldn’t sleep without her. He opened the gate for her and watched her while she parked her car at the garage. Her eyes were red, her make-up was ruined…he could see with the security light.
“Baby, what happened? Did you…” He asked looking worried.
“No, nothing happened! A fly entered my eye”
“A fly? Did u leave your side window opened while driving?” He asked concernedly
She ignored the question and entered the house. Her husband trailed after her.
“Did you fight with somebody?”
She removed her shoe and sat on the bed.
“I just said a fly entered my eye!” She retorted.
Her husband stared at her bewilderingly.
“Was that a raise in your voice?”
She mellowed…’This is going too far’ she thought and signed.
“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to. I'm just tired, I need to sleep” she said finally
“Fine! Go ahead and sleep!” With that, he stormed out of the room.
She didn’t bother to follow, she was exhausted psychologically. She couldn’t get him off her, she couldn’t forget the heartbreaker she had been, she couldn’t let the past fly away with time.
She touched her archaic bracelet and let her tears flowed with the flow of her thoughts…she didn’t deserve him.
————————————————-
“I never thought you would be here with the way you left me standing yesterday night.” He said coolly as he ushered her into his office.
“I'm sorry” she meant it
Uche raised his brow and smile crept to his lips.
“For what? For walking away yesterday or for walking away from my life? Which?” He asked sarcastically.
“Uche, I'm here to…” She slurred
He cut her short. “Which? Tomi, which? I need to know” he persisted
“I'm sorry for walking away from your life” she apologized mildly. “I didn’t mean to”
“Oh really? Ok, why did u leave all of a sudden yesterday?”
He walked up to her and camped her to the wall she was resting on. “Why?”
“Uche, I'm married now and I can’t be dancing with you like that. You were supposed to be in my past”
“Your past?!” He shouted.
Exhaled and subtle almost immediately. He raised his hand to her head and adjusted the mane of her hair to the back of her ear, trailed a finger from the back of her ear down to the neck line, zigzag to the upper region of her breasts and traced it back to her chin. She shivered at the cold and pleasure she was deriving. He raised her chin up to meet his eyes.
“Baby, this is not past, this is present” he said to her ear.
Capturing her lower lip with his lips, then used his tongue to draw the lip line. Tomi’s breathing labored, her handbag dropped silently. He smiled softly and parted her lips…he had missed this…the innocent young girl he taught how to love, how to kiss. He kissed her softly for few seconds, then fiercely.
“I am not supposed to be soft on you, you need to know that this is present not in the past” he muttered breathlessly.
He snapped off the buttons of the fitted shirt she wore and massaged her breasts with the bra.
Tomi could feel the sensation building up and found the strength to kiss him back, she used her feet to kick her bag away from her and gripped his butt, clinching his upright bulge to herself. She stood on her toes to meet his demand.
The action surprised them both but Uche wouldn’t let it waste. He hurriedly removed her shirt and lifted her off the ground. He used his waist to support her to the wall, wrapped her legs around him and exposed one of her breasts to suck while pestering her groin with his. She felt groggy with pleasure, clinging to him as if he was the only source of life and sanity in the whole world. She moaned for life, gasping at every touch and kisses…she missed him too…she fumbled with the belt and successfully withdrawn it from his trouser and set for his zip to remove his bulge that was threatening to tear the fabric.
He stopped her.
“I need you now! Damn it!” She protested.
He ignored her protest and moved downward to zip down her trouser, the wetness of her private part could be felt. He couldn’t take it anymore, he lifted her and placed her on his desk, removed her trouser and her pant…he looked at her well shaved part and glanced at his throbbing penis, then summoned all the courage he could muster…
He looked at her longingly and surprised them both…
“There is a restroom there, clean yourself then go and meet your husband. Call me when you are through, I will be waiting downstairs.” He said gallantly
Adjusted himself and walked out of the office just the way she did to him long time ago

First of all...Introduction!

Let this poem do the introduction,,,*smiles* Welcome!!!



I know it’s crazy…my desires
They are beautiful, call them nonsense
My want is as simple as snow
In its season, you shall find
I desire a crazy man
Not dirty and tattered
Not black with dreads
Neither scavenger nor roamer
A man with an aesthetically pleasing mind
Who will ‘ohhh’ and ‘wooow’ over a painting
Ask for forgiveness with a Kenny G
Exhibit his sexuality through pictures
Dance in the rain to write a poem
Cruise the lonely road on a power bike
His body, a perfect sculpture to touch
Emitting soothing poetry
Our house, a beautiful chaos
Drawn by a drunken madman
Dwelling in a lion’s concave
Filled with blossoming flowers
With paintings defining us
Scattered around artistically
Antiques, vases, musical instruments
And with each telling a story
Our kids…
Not doctors, lawyers, engineers or scientists, not acceptable
Artists, instrumentalists, architects, writers, photographers, art fanatics
Or better still…artistic doctor, artistic lawyer…Artistic whatever!
Just artistically crazy kids from artistically crazy parents
Oh well, I found the crazy man
But he is married to a sane woman
My cue to marry a sane man
And save the world
From a crazy generation